1. |
Disclaimer
07:03
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the following story has not been altered or adapted
to my best recollection it's exactly how it happened
the first few lines are just a statement of intent
and the persons that it concerns have provided no consent
and not a single thing I say here has been edited for content
I'm tired of fumbling for a tender way to broach the subject
resemblances to those alive and dead are no coincidence
locations and events have not been changed to save the innocent
not me and not you
and it doesn't leave this room
so close the door, make sure you feel the handle click
we'll let our words fall fast and free like hot wax down a candlestick
down in the living room the music's playing loud
you can feel it through the floorboards, I just hope it drowns us out
cause this doesn't leave this room, this doesn't leave this room
I'm only telling you cause I've held it in for months
I will sketch in every detail but I'll only tell it once
and it doesn't leave this room, this doesn't leave this room
so it's pretty crowded out there, we've invited half the town
but I'm sure you've noticed Arielle is nowhere to be found
her sweetheart's on the sofa chain smoking Camel Lights
and gazing blankly out the window, first clenched awfully tight
Darian's out on the porch among the faithless and the flawed
and his seventh beer might tell him if he still believes in God
they're all leaving claw marks on whatever they can hold dear
forgive me friends for the facts that I disclose here
by now I hope you've just assumed
you can't imagine how furious they'd be
if I aired their dirty laundry out for everyone to see
so this doesn't leave this room, this doesn't leave this room
so Arielle and what's his name have been going on three years now
but no one's even seen a trace of Arielle for going on three weeks now
Darian drove up to their duplex last night, hoping just to see her face
but before he even knocked he heard a lock slam in its place
so tomorrow when we pick up broken bottles cups and cans
if you find a broken window, take a guess who cut his hand
I swear it's like he wants her to pretend we don't exist
I'm not saying he's a monster, but he's got this little itch
it's always been there, and it always will be
a permanent fixture
he's a sensitive soul
especially when he hits her
but she offers up her hand to him the second he repents
and at the whisper of a word of it she'd jump to his defense
vainly she awaits the day he stumbles to his senses
well I guess she's just too kind, and he's just too relentless
oh this doesn't leave this room this doesn't leave this room this doesn't leave this room
and all this talk is nothing more than gossip if we don't do something soon
but this doesn't leave this room
cause the ghosts inside her closet have begun to turn her home into a tomb
but this doesn't leave this room
and when she finally leaves their house I'm kinda scared
of what comes out of that cocoon
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2. |
Prodigal
05:48
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In the beginning we were banished
and then we stoked the fires
scrapped our songs for salvage
built a funeral pyre
watched it sinking slowly
in the reverberating depths
knelt along the shoreline
and held our hands to our faces as we wept
we were boxes full of broken hearts
en route to empty business parks
where they set us down
out past the exit signs and scattered glass
the highway tore our hearts in half
at the edge of town
we found this failed city project
a couple acres cleared to build some kind of complex
their tools tore up the ground but they had to halt their progress
when their funds ran out, packed up and cut their losses
there it lay in all its glory
we took our refuge in the shelter of the quarry
you'd bring your dad's guitar and swipe a couple forties
we'd pass them back and forth and sing each other stories
we'd gather there from far and wide
in the towering shade
and the quarry would contain the cries
that our voices made
with our echoes ringing out until
I could hardly hear
if I close my eyes and stand real still
would I disappear?
we'd spend our days composing eulogies
to everything we used to be
before the crash
and our nights performing song and dance
for some celestial audience
we swore they'd clap
and with laughter Arielle recited sonnets
each line well rehearsed
shortly after Darian would quote them scripture
chapter and verse
through the dust we saw it rising up before us
a pathway through the hurt
we looked around and found these rock walls were a fortress
that we built with nothing but our words
we'd duck down when we heard the sound
and the machines drew near
so sure that we could wait them out
till the coast was clear
we could hear the engines throb and hum
in a distant din
but we swore that day would never come
when the dirt poured in
so with our stories finally spent
we began to roam
could wander forty years and yet
never find our home
we'll crawl upon our hands and knees
and embrace this curse
as prodigals and refugees
in the wasted earth
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3. |
Refugee
03:10
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so they wandered again
to make a home for their family and kin
polluted all the waters within
but we can make it all better again
we'll filter out their women and men
with no quarter for the young or the old
when children are expendable then
we can leave them shivering out in the cold
so you brokered a deal
a handshake and a permanent seal
ascend to the position of power
atop a wall with an ivory tower
turn away the outstretched hands
it's what you did for the lowest of these
so tell me was it part of the plan
to leave them shivering out in the cold?
you decreed-
go out and cleanse the lands
until the waters are pure
(enough to wash the blood off our hands)
and we'll sing
how we're the chosen souls
but can we ever atone
for leaving them in the cold?
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4. |
Duck and Cover
03:52
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bring out your beaten and your scarred, let’s meet at the bars
see if their elixirs can cure us
let’s send up panicked prayers like signal flares
see if someone can hear us
let’s fold our hands together and untether from time
reaching back through the ether
toward that moment right before her head hit the floor
and we’ll throw a blanket beneath her
then when the ground shakes and the wave in its wake
finds us in the arms of our lovers
hold your charms to your chests, hide beneath your desks
duck and cover
inside a dimly lit dive just off the 405
exchanging philosophies and dogmas
we’ll call each other friends, we’ll never speak again
turn our backs on our problems
we’ll pour our liquor and our beer, pretend not to hear
the distant peals of thunder
feel our eyes get soft as we hold our hopes aloft
in clinking glasses and tumblers
but when the air turns foul and the dogs start to howl
gather up your sister and brother
less than two minutes now to reach high ground
before the highways are smothered
so when the ground shakes and the wave in its wake
finds us in the arms of our lovers
hold your charms to your chests, hide beneath your desks
duck and cover
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5. |
July
02:41
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6. |
Once Upon a Wilderness
02:08
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once upon a wilderness, quiet and complete
serpent with a silver tongue, fruit upon the tree
with a single choice he fell
they saw another side of themselves
now into the pit, until you both forget
the beauty that you saw
bear the pain of birth, dig into the earth
till it 'till it's raw
Darian was seventeen when he ran away
he don't need a holy tome to know he's not a saint
bent beneath the overpass
with tremors in his voice he asked
in between your prayer, have you time to spare
a penny or a word?
when you go to kneel, don't it ever feel
just a bit absurd?
is it for the greater good, for the greater love
for the love of god?
woe to he without a shield from his doubt;
who shivers when it's cold
while the pious and devout tell him all about
conditions of his soul
it’s for the greater good, for the greater love
for the love of god
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7. |
November
06:21
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it was just after dark when the fleet disembarked
to pillage the town and burn bridges
setting sail, waving bye to the few left behind
who didn't feel quite so ambitious
so we sat on your roof trading sips, 80 proof
the night gave way to reminiscing
of a time before everything went awry
when we joined hands and offered our songs to the sky
when we burned
and knew that we were consecrated
in light of all that we'd created
but still the fire slowly faded
over time
so we struggled in vain to explain what had changed
to ascertain what was broken
we could tell it was near but we couldn't quite steer
from the precipice we were approaching
and yeah I knew you were bruised, but my tongue gets confused
I never know quite how to broach it
it feels like something has stolen my speech
and the words are dangling just out of reach
so I turned
to leave you hanging there suspended
cause I was frightened of offending
I closed the door and kept pretending
you were fine
there's a slump in your gait and a shake in your breath
as you make your way home and up the front steps
the screen door squeaks, the kitchen's a mess
cardboard boxes and stale cigarettes
the clock says it's late and you hope he's asleep
you know just where to step so the floor doesn't creak
just don't make a sound, you won't have a repeat
of what's come back around for the last several weeks
the ghost of it hangs like a shadow
heavy and thick
it takes a lot more than you’ve got right now
you’d better run quick
cause you stay up all night and scroll through your texts
for a phrase or exchange that could break through the hex
you drive yourself mad as you look for the clues
to get back what you had, it'd be worth every bruise
but this chaos is home, there’s no turning back now
you've learned to go limp when the rug gets pulled out
just close your eyes and float for awhile
and you won't even flinch when your head hits the tile
be still as you can, count backwards from ten
don't open you mouth or it happens again
pick yourself off the floor when he storms up the stairs
wash a few dishes and say a few prayers
cause all that we gave you were empty refrains
that float with the suds as they circle the drain
so with our hands on our ears and our eyes covered tight
all you could hear was our poisonous advice:
"give it time, it'll get better it'll get better now go
you'll be fine, it'll get better it'll get better now go"
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8. |
Arielle
04:27
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well if it isn’t our old friend-
Arielle how long has it been?
something like thirty days, thirty days
since anybody’s seen you
well before you run off again
just had a few things to tell you
and after we’ve said our peace
you could come with us, catch the bus
or you could just walk away
but you owe us this much at least
cause you won’t get clear
and it only gets worse from here
if you just do nothing
do you tell yourself not fight it?
do you stay awake every night?
do you say,
“one day he could change into somebody better”
(if you play your cards just right)
it started just how you hoped it would
and it ended just how you feared
you said every word, every word
at every perfect time
but still his smile disappeared
sleep for days, come undone
don't the best of us eventually run
out of ways to cope
set thirty bucks aside for a rope
cause you won't get clear
and it only gets worse from here
don't you know we all mean well?
everybody here is scared as hell
it's gonna happen to you too
Arielle
unless you've something to lose
Arielle
before he makes you choose
Arielle
put on your coat and your shoes
Arielle
if you’re tired of hiding
we’ve prepared a way if you want
all arrangements made, plans are laid,
and all expenses paid
are you coming or not?
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9. |
January
02:01
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10. |
Leviathan
05:04
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ever since I can remember it has lived within
it waited and it slumbered, waited and it slumbered
one day you awakened the leviathan
it wasn't much longer till it began to hunger
some kind of cosmic wager from the devil to God
and I was in the middle, I was in the middle
they pushed it down inside me so I'll never resolve
the answer to this riddle, answer to this riddle
how it hangs on me
haunting every step that I take
like a big brother
whose shadow you could never escape
or your drunk stepfather
you didn't measure up in his eyes
he laid his hands upon you
now go your way and do likewise
so I drowned it in the ocean depths
it just came back stronger
so I tried to smother it
beneath my sheets and comforters
scared it would take control
if I don't extinguish it
but there's days I think I'd feel that way no matter what I did
first time that I hit you I just lost control
your final shred of refuge drained away and left you
trembling there in front of me, completely exposed
to the blackest of intention, past all intervention
I gazed into your eyes and saw your motives and plans
hiding just behind the levee, just behind the levee
I knew that if I gave you even half of a chance
that one day when you're ready, like dead skin you would shed me
move onto something better
a house with a two car garage
just leave me spinning downward;
the bullet that you narrowly dodged
can't let you have that power
you'd only screw it up anyway
if you have no rudder
you'll do whatever I say
and we'll go on this way eternally
inside our private hell
and I'll siphon pieces of you off
till you're an empty shell
I've thrown it scraps for years
to sate its appetite
but this snarling beast that lives in me demands a sacrifice
so you've been wandering the streets for days
well that's just fine with me
I'm only thinking of that moment when you finally
come home and find me swaying here
beneath your tightened rope
and I swear I hear some creature laughing there behind us both
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11. |
March
03:47
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I saw you sitting by yourself in the street, it was the
first time a single soul had seen you in weeks
you were staring at the sky with your hand on your heart
your skin was snow white, but your eyes were so dark
you said you can't go back there again
and you can't go on without him
I heard you screaming through the walls last night
it seems you took a season trying to set things right
but still you close the curtains and draw the blinds
then lie awake cursing every thought in your mind
because you can't go back there again
and you can't go on without him
then one day you crack the door
squinting hard against the sun
throw yourself upon the earth
don't sleep until your toil is done
soaked in blood and afterbirth
screaming for your mother's arms
throw yourself upon the earth
know that it'll bring you home
know that it'll break your heart
just let it pull you clear apart
I still remember how you looked last March
when they found that note he left in Overland Park
and you've always known you can't go back to the start
and so you live inside that moment when it all fell apart
cause you can’t
and you can't go back there again
and you can't go on without him
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12. |
---Twelve Years---
00:57
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13. |
Darian
05:23
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it's Darian on the corner of Abilene and 8th
for what must be the eleventh or the twelfth year straight
he's bent beneath the awning with a bottle in the rain
he ain't asking for your money, it'd just make him feel ashamed
he's looking for a home in a hundred hurried hands
that pass his weary body by without a second glance
and he feels the tears falling from a father unseen
who's looking down in sorrow but he doesn't intervene
Darian lifts his eyes to the wind swept streets
as the figures hurry by with a chatter in their teeth
the last witness of what happened in this place
and he tries to tell them all but they never slow their pace
he tells them about the voices, he tells them about the sound
and how there used to be a quarry at the edges of this town
and he tells them about the people, some alive and some gone
the pale-skinned poet with bruises on her arms
who made a path for herself from those that did her harm
Darian falls silent and curses the cold
his stomach is empty and the shelters are full
he holds a heavy breath as the rain turns to snow
just staving off death- a couple days or so
he's waiting there for something that he can't quite explain
an answer to a question he could never really name
just something he can grab as he collapses to the floor
maybe make amends with the friends he doesn't speak to anymore
and as he loosens up his grip
and as the bottle empties out
and the darkness closes in
and the wine stains the ground
he can feel himself lifted
above the alleys and the towns
and to whoever will hear
he finds the words that he's tried to say for years
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14. |
Tell Me How It Ends
03:10
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"you told us all a story
a story full of fury, a story of regret
you told us every legend of how it all began
you never did tell me how it ends
you told me what would happen
if I carried down this road, just around the bend
you told me to abandon my family and my friends
you never did tell me how it ends
so if you could only tell me
I'd get up off the sidewalk and try it all again
I'd speak up for the people nobody could defend
remember our history books, embedded with our sins
and write a final coda on which we could depend
if you would only tell me how it ends
tell me how it ends, oh I can keep a secret
I feel it coming just beyond my sight
I don't need a map or a crystal ball to see it
just tell me if it ends up alright
tell me how it ends, oh I can keep a secret
this body's going down without a fight
I don't need a map or a crystal ball to see it
just tell me if it ends up alright
tell me how it ends, oh I can keep a secret
twenty years I've waited on a sign
I don't need a map or a crystal ball to see it
just tell me if it ends up alright
just tell me if it ends up alright
just tell me if it ends up alright
just tell me if it ends-"
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David Wirsig New Haven, Connecticut
Over the past ten years, David Wirsig has built a library of releases exploring themes such as religious dogma, life after the apocalypse, and what lies at the bottom of the ocean. His songs have been featured on multiple podcasts and radio programs, including "Welcome to Night Vale" and CBC Radio. ... more
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