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Prodigal

by David Wirsig

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felix_blackweird
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felix_blackweird Ended up here because of Night Vale only to discover a whole album of music that is so powerful in ways that I don't have the words to express. But I don't need to. The music speaks loud and clear. Favorite track: Once Upon a Wilderness.
boxoffidgetspinners
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boxoffidgetspinners David Wirsig has been one of my favorite artists since I listened to “Black Eyes” during the weather section to Welcome to Night Vale. Atmospheric and emotional, this new album is absolutely amazing. Favorite track: November.
libbyo27
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libbyo27 It's as much a novel as an album, wrestling with abuse, monsters, loss, angels, and rebirth. Sonically engaging, Wirsig breaks new ground in the realms of storytelling and folk music. Favorite track: Prodigal.
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1.
Disclaimer 07:03
the following story has not been altered or adapted to my best recollection it's exactly how it happened the first few lines are just a statement of intent and the persons that it concerns have provided no consent and not a single thing I say here has been edited for content I'm tired of fumbling for a tender way to broach the subject resemblances to those alive and dead are no coincidence locations and events have not been changed to save the innocent not me and not you and it doesn't leave this room so close the door, make sure you feel the handle click we'll let our words fall fast and free like hot wax down a candlestick down in the living room the music's playing loud you can feel it through the floorboards, I just hope it drowns us out cause this doesn't leave this room, this doesn't leave this room I'm only telling you cause I've held it in for months I will sketch in every detail but I'll only tell it once and it doesn't leave this room, this doesn't leave this room so it's pretty crowded out there, we've invited half the town but I'm sure you've noticed Arielle is nowhere to be found her sweetheart's on the sofa chain smoking Camel Lights and gazing blankly out the window, first clenched awfully tight Darian's out on the porch among the faithless and the flawed and his seventh beer might tell him if he still believes in God they're all leaving claw marks on whatever they can hold dear forgive me friends for the facts that I disclose here by now I hope you've just assumed you can't imagine how furious they'd be if I aired their dirty laundry out for everyone to see so this doesn't leave this room, this doesn't leave this room so Arielle and what's his name have been going on three years now but no one's even seen a trace of Arielle for going on three weeks now Darian drove up to their duplex last night, hoping just to see her face but before he even knocked he heard a lock slam in its place so tomorrow when we pick up broken bottles cups and cans if you find a broken window, take a guess who cut his hand I swear it's like he wants her to pretend we don't exist I'm not saying he's a monster, but he's got this little itch it's always been there, and it always will be a permanent fixture he's a sensitive soul especially when he hits her but she offers up her hand to him the second he repents and at the whisper of a word of it she'd jump to his defense vainly she awaits the day he stumbles to his senses well I guess she's just too kind, and he's just too relentless oh this doesn't leave this room this doesn't leave this room this doesn't leave this room and all this talk is nothing more than gossip if we don't do something soon but this doesn't leave this room cause the ghosts inside her closet have begun to turn her home into a tomb but this doesn't leave this room and when she finally leaves their house I'm kinda scared of what comes out of that cocoon
2.
Prodigal 05:48
In the beginning we were banished and then we stoked the fires scrapped our songs for salvage built a funeral pyre watched it sinking slowly in the reverberating depths knelt along the shoreline and held our hands to our faces as we wept we were boxes full of broken hearts en route to empty business parks where they set us down out past the exit signs and scattered glass the highway tore our hearts in half at the edge of town we found this failed city project a couple acres cleared to build some kind of complex their tools tore up the ground but they had to halt their progress when their funds ran out, packed up and cut their losses there it lay in all its glory we took our refuge in the shelter of the quarry you'd bring your dad's guitar and swipe a couple forties we'd pass them back and forth and sing each other stories we'd gather there from far and wide in the towering shade and the quarry would contain the cries that our voices made with our echoes ringing out until I could hardly hear if I close my eyes and stand real still would I disappear? we'd spend our days composing eulogies to everything we used to be before the crash and our nights performing song and dance for some celestial audience we swore they'd clap and with laughter Arielle recited sonnets each line well rehearsed shortly after Darian would quote them scripture chapter and verse through the dust we saw it rising up before us a pathway through the hurt we looked around and found these rock walls were a fortress that we built with nothing but our words we'd duck down when we heard the sound and the machines drew near so sure that we could wait them out till the coast was clear we could hear the engines throb and hum in a distant din but we swore that day would never come when the dirt poured in so with our stories finally spent we began to roam could wander forty years and yet never find our home we'll crawl upon our hands and knees and embrace this curse as prodigals and refugees in the wasted earth
3.
Refugee 03:10
so they wandered again to make a home for their family and kin polluted all the waters within but we can make it all better again we'll filter out their women and men with no quarter for the young or the old when children are expendable then we can leave them shivering out in the cold so you brokered a deal a handshake and a permanent seal ascend to the position of power atop a wall with an ivory tower turn away the outstretched hands it's what you did for the lowest of these so tell me was it part of the plan to leave them shivering out in the cold? you decreed- go out and cleanse the lands until the waters are pure (enough to wash the blood off our hands) and we'll sing how we're the chosen souls but can we ever atone for leaving them in the cold?
4.
bring out your beaten and your scarred, let’s meet at the bars see if their elixirs can cure us let’s send up panicked prayers like signal flares see if someone can hear us let’s fold our hands together and untether from time reaching back through the ether toward that moment right before her head hit the floor and we’ll throw a blanket beneath her then when the ground shakes and the wave in its wake finds us in the arms of our lovers hold your charms to your chests, hide beneath your desks duck and cover inside a dimly lit dive just off the 405 exchanging philosophies and dogmas we’ll call each other friends, we’ll never speak again turn our backs on our problems we’ll pour our liquor and our beer, pretend not to hear the distant peals of thunder feel our eyes get soft as we hold our hopes aloft in clinking glasses and tumblers but when the air turns foul and the dogs start to howl gather up your sister and brother less than two minutes now to reach high ground before the highways are smothered so when the ground shakes and the wave in its wake finds us in the arms of our lovers hold your charms to your chests, hide beneath your desks duck and cover
5.
July 02:41
6.
once upon a wilderness, quiet and complete serpent with a silver tongue, fruit upon the tree with a single choice he fell they saw another side of themselves now into the pit, until you both forget the beauty that you saw bear the pain of birth, dig into the earth till it 'till it's raw Darian was seventeen when he ran away he don't need a holy tome to know he's not a saint bent beneath the overpass with tremors in his voice he asked in between your prayer, have you time to spare a penny or a word? when you go to kneel, don't it ever feel just a bit absurd? is it for the greater good, for the greater love for the love of god? woe to he without a shield from his doubt; who shivers when it's cold while the pious and devout tell him all about conditions of his soul it’s for the greater good, for the greater love for the love of god
7.
November 06:21
it was just after dark when the fleet disembarked to pillage the town and burn bridges setting sail, waving bye to the few left behind who didn't feel quite so ambitious so we sat on your roof trading sips, 80 proof the night gave way to reminiscing of a time before everything went awry when we joined hands and offered our songs to the sky when we burned and knew that we were consecrated in light of all that we'd created but still the fire slowly faded over time so we struggled in vain to explain what had changed to ascertain what was broken we could tell it was near but we couldn't quite steer from the precipice we were approaching and yeah I knew you were bruised, but my tongue gets confused I never know quite how to broach it it feels like something has stolen my speech and the words are dangling just out of reach so I turned to leave you hanging there suspended cause I was frightened of offending I closed the door and kept pretending you were fine there's a slump in your gait and a shake in your breath as you make your way home and up the front steps the screen door squeaks, the kitchen's a mess cardboard boxes and stale cigarettes the clock says it's late and you hope he's asleep you know just where to step so the floor doesn't creak just don't make a sound, you won't have a repeat of what's come back around for the last several weeks the ghost of it hangs like a shadow heavy and thick it takes a lot more than you’ve got right now you’d better run quick cause you stay up all night and scroll through your texts for a phrase or exchange that could break through the hex you drive yourself mad as you look for the clues to get back what you had, it'd be worth every bruise but this chaos is home, there’s no turning back now you've learned to go limp when the rug gets pulled out just close your eyes and float for awhile and you won't even flinch when your head hits the tile be still as you can, count backwards from ten don't open you mouth or it happens again pick yourself off the floor when he storms up the stairs wash a few dishes and say a few prayers cause all that we gave you were empty refrains that float with the suds as they circle the drain so with our hands on our ears and our eyes covered tight all you could hear was our poisonous advice: "give it time, it'll get better it'll get better now go you'll be fine, it'll get better it'll get better now go"
8.
Arielle 04:27
well if it isn’t our old friend- Arielle how long has it been? something like thirty days, thirty days since anybody’s seen you well before you run off again just had a few things to tell you and after we’ve said our peace you could come with us, catch the bus or you could just walk away but you owe us this much at least cause you won’t get clear and it only gets worse from here if you just do nothing do you tell yourself not fight it? do you stay awake every night? do you say, “one day he could change into somebody better” (if you play your cards just right) it started just how you hoped it would and it ended just how you feared you said every word, every word at every perfect time but still his smile disappeared sleep for days, come undone don't the best of us eventually run out of ways to cope set thirty bucks aside for a rope cause you won't get clear and it only gets worse from here don't you know we all mean well? everybody here is scared as hell it's gonna happen to you too Arielle unless you've something to lose Arielle before he makes you choose Arielle put on your coat and your shoes Arielle if you’re tired of hiding we’ve prepared a way if you want all arrangements made, plans are laid, and all expenses paid are you coming or not?
9.
January 02:01
10.
Leviathan 05:04
ever since I can remember it has lived within it waited and it slumbered, waited and it slumbered one day you awakened the leviathan it wasn't much longer till it began to hunger some kind of cosmic wager from the devil to God and I was in the middle, I was in the middle they pushed it down inside me so I'll never resolve the answer to this riddle, answer to this riddle how it hangs on me haunting every step that I take like a big brother whose shadow you could never escape or your drunk stepfather you didn't measure up in his eyes he laid his hands upon you now go your way and do likewise so I drowned it in the ocean depths it just came back stronger so I tried to smother it beneath my sheets and comforters scared it would take control if I don't extinguish it but there's days I think I'd feel that way no matter what I did first time that I hit you I just lost control your final shred of refuge drained away and left you trembling there in front of me, completely exposed to the blackest of intention, past all intervention I gazed into your eyes and saw your motives and plans hiding just behind the levee, just behind the levee I knew that if I gave you even half of a chance that one day when you're ready, like dead skin you would shed me move onto something better a house with a two car garage just leave me spinning downward; the bullet that you narrowly dodged can't let you have that power you'd only screw it up anyway if you have no rudder you'll do whatever I say and we'll go on this way eternally inside our private hell and I'll siphon pieces of you off till you're an empty shell I've thrown it scraps for years to sate its appetite but this snarling beast that lives in me demands a sacrifice so you've been wandering the streets for days well that's just fine with me I'm only thinking of that moment when you finally come home and find me swaying here beneath your tightened rope and I swear I hear some creature laughing there behind us both
11.
March 03:47
I saw you sitting by yourself in the street, it was the first time a single soul had seen you in weeks you were staring at the sky with your hand on your heart your skin was snow white, but your eyes were so dark you said you can't go back there again and you can't go on without him I heard you screaming through the walls last night it seems you took a season trying to set things right but still you close the curtains and draw the blinds then lie awake cursing every thought in your mind because you can't go back there again and you can't go on without him then one day you crack the door squinting hard against the sun throw yourself upon the earth don't sleep until your toil is done soaked in blood and afterbirth screaming for your mother's arms throw yourself upon the earth know that it'll bring you home know that it'll break your heart just let it pull you clear apart I still remember how you looked last March when they found that note he left in Overland Park and you've always known you can't go back to the start and so you live inside that moment when it all fell apart cause you can’t and you can't go back there again and you can't go on without him
12.
13.
Darian 05:23
it's Darian on the corner of Abilene and 8th for what must be the eleventh or the twelfth year straight he's bent beneath the awning with a bottle in the rain he ain't asking for your money, it'd just make him feel ashamed he's looking for a home in a hundred hurried hands that pass his weary body by without a second glance and he feels the tears falling from a father unseen who's looking down in sorrow but he doesn't intervene Darian lifts his eyes to the wind swept streets as the figures hurry by with a chatter in their teeth the last witness of what happened in this place and he tries to tell them all but they never slow their pace he tells them about the voices, he tells them about the sound and how there used to be a quarry at the edges of this town and he tells them about the people, some alive and some gone the pale-skinned poet with bruises on her arms who made a path for herself from those that did her harm Darian falls silent and curses the cold his stomach is empty and the shelters are full he holds a heavy breath as the rain turns to snow just staving off death- a couple days or so he's waiting there for something that he can't quite explain an answer to a question he could never really name just something he can grab as he collapses to the floor maybe make amends with the friends he doesn't speak to anymore and as he loosens up his grip and as the bottle empties out and the darkness closes in and the wine stains the ground he can feel himself lifted above the alleys and the towns and to whoever will hear he finds the words that he's tried to say for years
14.
"you told us all a story a story full of fury, a story of regret you told us every legend of how it all began you never did tell me how it ends you told me what would happen if I carried down this road, just around the bend you told me to abandon my family and my friends you never did tell me how it ends so if you could only tell me I'd get up off the sidewalk and try it all again I'd speak up for the people nobody could defend remember our history books, embedded with our sins and write a final coda on which we could depend if you would only tell me how it ends tell me how it ends, oh I can keep a secret I feel it coming just beyond my sight I don't need a map or a crystal ball to see it just tell me if it ends up alright tell me how it ends, oh I can keep a secret this body's going down without a fight I don't need a map or a crystal ball to see it just tell me if it ends up alright tell me how it ends, oh I can keep a secret twenty years I've waited on a sign I don't need a map or a crystal ball to see it just tell me if it ends up alright just tell me if it ends up alright just tell me if it ends up alright just tell me if it ends-"

credits

released October 2, 2020

All songs written, performed, and produced by David Wirsig.
Violin on "November" and piano on "Leviathan" and "March" performed by Libby O'Neil.

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David Wirsig New Haven, Connecticut

Over the past ten years, David Wirsig has built a library of releases exploring themes such as religious dogma, life after the apocalypse, and what lies at the bottom of the ocean. His songs have been featured on multiple podcasts and radio programs, including "Welcome to Night Vale" and CBC Radio. ... more

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